2nd posting...

休息一个礼拜了，

其实也没做了很多事，

就是开始觉得懒散。

突然间开了面子书，

见到很多以前同学，

在第二次战役中，

大获全胜。

喜悦之情，

真的无法用支字片语来形容。

而这时，

自己还为着明天即将进入另一个工作环境，

显得有些着急，

明天得几点出现，

在哪里出现，

还搞不清楚。

老实说，有时候还蛮喜欢小孩子的，

今天看到两个小外甥，

如此可爱，像pooh似的。

小孩子啊！愿你们的天真无邪，

可以让我爱上小儿科。。。

听心

听，是一个正常人能做的。

要仔细聆听别人的心，却不是每个人能办得到。

最近才买了这本书，

有点引起我自己对写作的兴趣，

想当年，自己也曾希望可以出书，

无奈文笔不如人家，

还是写写部落格以了心愿。

这本书还蛮精彩的，值得一读。

Tatsumi Kondo

《爱之家》原来是一个很多故事的地方。

相传1996年，有位来自日本的年轻物理治疗师，

怀着满腔热血，来砂劳越当义工。

来马约三年，对那些肢体有障碍的孩童付出极大的爱心。

他就是近藤龙已。。。

若非有机会受邀去参加其追悼会，

恐怕在很多人眼里，

他只是另一个对社会有贡献的义工。

近藤先生后来回到日本，

继续对体障人士付出，

同时也研制为轮椅改装，

以满足那些小孩的需要。

几年后，又回到诗巫这个小地方，

把他的毕生研究和功夫，

在这里发扬光大。

虽然在这里的日子不久，

他却深深爱上这里，

并在去世后，

希望将骨灰撒在拉让江上，

永远与河水上的砂劳越人民共存。

也许他先离开，

但他的精神和爱，

却将在那些体障儿童身上延续。

谢谢你，近藤先生。。。

残缺也是一种美

残缺也是一种美 by 黎胜平
(Disability is also a form of beauty)

记得家乡门口的那个女孩
一对膀子长短都不一样
走起路来终是一瘸一拐　
说起话来 结巴没人爱
街坊的小孩 终是嘲讽陷害
女孩无话 只能靜靜无奈

** 外婆告诉我不可以笑她
因为残缺也是一种美
我看清晨女孩挽著衣篮摇摆
从家门口渐渐走来
那忍辱负重的步伐轻轻迈开
坚毅善良的面庞　多么净白
我终于明白

记得家乡门口的那个女孩
一对膀子长短都不一样
走起路来终是一瘸一拐
说起话来 结巴没人爱
街坊的小孩 终是嘲讽陷害
女孩无话 只能靜靜无奈

** 外婆告诉我不可以笑她　
因为残缺也是一种美
我看清晨女孩挽著衣篮摇摆
从家门口渐渐走来
那忍辱负重的步伐轻轻迈开
坚毅善良的面庞　多么净白
我终于明白

月亮不一定要圆满
残缺也是一种美丽
人生不一定要拥有
享有也是一种福气　
逆来顺受 化腐朽为神奇
残缺生命 也能彩绘 出美丽的诗偈


我看清晨女挽着衣篮摇摆
从家门口渐渐走来
那忍辱负重的步伐轻轻的迈开
坚毅善良的面庞　多么净
我终于明白

昨天又再次回到爱之家，
这次不是跟智障的朋友
而是跟体障的朋友一起工作。
其中一位特别爱唱歌和说话。
他的乐天，
让你很难不被感染到他的开朗。
当他唱着这一首歌时，
虽然没有技巧，声音也很普通，
但是那个认真想把歌唱好的表情，
吸引我向他投注我的目光。
在爱之家，真的是一个很多祝福的地方。
虽然假期不能见到好朋友们，
能够做义工，也是不错的享受

End of the day

It is finally approaching the end of the posting.
A lot of thing seems like still in blur.
But one thing I m sure is that I m not a first poster anymore.
HaHaHa... and that means I shouldnt do more mistakes in the postings to come.

I still remember the very first day I reached the Sarawak General Hospital on 21st June,
It s so big that I wonder how to run if any emergency happens. (Luckily I m not posted here)
Looking at Shii Wei and Jane filling the whole bundles of forms,
I wonder how my life would be on the next day.
Holidays ended, working life started.
I finally called myself a Dr.
Am I qualified yet?
I spent a day only for everything including my orientation.
and the Pengarah was so kind to let me choose to go to my favourite posting.
Anyway, I didnt grab the gold chance and it slipped away from my hands.
I was posted to Surgery which is not of my interest.
The very first thought in my mind was the speech given by Mr Halim.
"No matter where u go, must rmb to be the best dr in that place!"
Yeah! I can do it. I told myself.

As I entering Male surgical ward, Sister Lily with smiley face, welcoming me to join the community of Sibu hospital. Then, she asked a nurse to brief me. Surpringly the nurse couldn't find me. the reason being so was I was wearing a white coat.
HaHa! really joker. No doctors in this hospital wearing white coat.
After introducing myself to surgeons and MOs,
The first question was "Which University u were from?"
"UKM." embarrassedly I replied.
"Mr. Ooi, our new surgeon,who is ur super senior, gonna have much expectation on u. Haha!"
Will it be a good thing?
It's good! At least u have seniors in your department. I told myself.

I started my busy life here in the next few minutes.
I used almost 40 mins to clerk the very first case.
The feedback was no need so detail about all histories in patients. Just ask related ones will do.
Speed up! Faster. That were what I heard for the next few days.
I dare not to have lunch sometimes if the ward is busy.
14 days tagging was a big disaster for me.
Most of the time I had cold meals (almost cried when I first had the cold rice at pantry)
Why did I choose a crazy profession and doing things like slaves?
Does it worth?
In that 14 days, I could be scolded for something or for nothing.
the only things was the BIG BIG THANK YOU from my patients discharged from MSW, which pushed me to carry on.
I thank God, because He gave me a great gift, SMILE!
Another big disaster when Mr 100 appeared in my life.
Knowing his bad histories made me fear of him.
My limbs can't be controlled and kept doing funny mistakes,
and finally became his "coronary artery".

14 days passed, new challenge comes.
On call should not be a problem for me as I always don't sleep during my study days
and now I m carrying bigger responsibilities as the life of patients were all in my hands.
A little mistake could lead them to Heaven or Hell.
I m tired. but i cant sleep. I dont know what to do, how to manage a patient yet.
But 14 days tagging were definitely too tired for me.
I dont wish to get extended.

Recalling the bad calls that I had,
K+ was always the culprit.
No matter what it was, I learnt a lot that I had never learnt in University.
In this place, I got to know people is always selfish.
I knew that a lot of politics not in control.
I knew that betrays repeatedly happened in this world.
A good profession contented with dirties, unhappiness.
That was the feeling towards ending the 2nd month of posting.

I started to speed up. Meantime, waiting for new HO to be juniors.
Enough to be scolded.
MOs doesnt know much but yet they scolded u like hell.
Sometimes I even had to be scolded for their stupidness.
All these reminded me not to be MO like them in future.

One thing was so special that I couldnt forget.
Sister Ling taught me palliative cares in terminally ill patients.
that was the first time I had chance to remove SPC for a dead patient.
I saw how the palliative service works.
U cried with the family.
U felt the same as the family members.
at the end of the day, I got an angpow.
A special meaningful angpow.

3rd month of working days started. I shifted from MSW to FSW.
It s like from Hell to Heaven.
With a surgeon, Mr Ting, who is as nice as me,
With better MO,
I was relieved from frightened up by bad dreams during dawn in every morning.

Works are not only bitters.
The sweet part was having good time with colleagues and nurses.
At least there still someone supporting me and helping me.
And undoubtedly, I m still nurses killer...
Thank you once again. nurse in MSW and FSW as well JMs and student nurses.
Without u all, I might have endless nights could not have good sleep during on call.
Special thanks to nurses from FSW (in addition to last post for nurse), namely Yong, Mimi, Victoria, Silin, Yati, Bai, Sylvia, Dayang, Halina, Salimah, etc.

Towards the end of the posting,
I m more equipped with confidence and knowledge in managing patients.
Using TPC system is no longer a technical problem.
I can refer case in a better way.
I can teach Unimas students.
I can do works faster.
I know how to resuscitate a newborn (not practically tried yet)
I can mange pains.
I m no longer blur.

Thank you, my dear colleagues and seniors!
I wished I could work with some of u again. unfortunately I m going to the place that u all not going.
I m gonna adapt with new environment and new people.
All the best to me!

丰富的人生

这一个月过得很忙碌，不过也很精彩。

难得马来同胞新年，又认识了这么多护士，

更应该实践One Malaysia的宗旨，

去拜年咯！

谢谢这位 SN Nurul Huda 热情招待，

让我能吃得到很久没吃的daging rendam，

而且这是第一次跟马来同胞拜年呢！

也要谢谢SN Yong才下班就被我逼来，

还携伴出席，真赏脸！

接下来，值得庆祝的是九月十六被列为公假。

虽然是一个很政治化的日子，

还是很高兴东马可以被认真地看待。

至少让所有人了解，东马不是加入马来西亚，

而是与半岛共同组织马来西亚。

9月20/21：

第一个在任以来参与的course居然是neonatal resuscitation course (NRP)。

蛮开心的，可以成功pass这个course.

而且可以学到很多新的功课。

当然咯！最好玩的还是跟同事还有护士们的互动，

让我深深体会team work在急救时，是那么的重要。

每一个人都必须熟悉步骤，不能迟疑。

我想，再多练习一点，在去小儿科时就没多大问题了吧！

心情手札

最近太压力了，终于忍不住要偷闲。看看很久没有看的香港戏。无意间在电脑里看到红极一时的巾帼枭雄。虽然明争暗斗的戏码还是摆上台面，不过四奶奶危机处理的方式，还是有值得学习的地方。她讲的一句话，其实还蛮安慰我的。当他很烦恼蝗灾时，望着天空，说她相信天地间有一个主宰，而这个主宰仿佛对她说，你只要尽力地去完成你该做的事，剩下的交给我吧！让我想起圣经也是这么讲到，当将一切的忧虑卸给你的上帝，因为他顾念你们。不管怎么困难的事，都有他来为我担当了，我还惧怕什么呢？加油！

A post for nurse!!

I m glad after grad, I m still be able to become nurses' killer.

Thank you for helping me and teaching me so much.

though sometimes some of u are really lazy,

and refused to do things for me.

U all r so noble, as u can do alot of things that i wouldnt want to do.

Thanks to my nurses and JMs who love me so much and always support me...

Thanks Sis Lily, SN Poh Chin, Teo, Emmily, Normah, Maria, Lucy, Jacquelin, Juliana, Sophia, Halina, May lin, JM Alina, Rajimah, Tracy etc... (MSW)

Thanks to SN Lee, Nurul, Mary (PSW)

Thanks to Sn Nurul Huda (Day care)

and gonna thanks all the nurses in FSW. (coming soon)

Convo day

Finally i had my convocation day last week.
It supposed to be exciting and joyful.
but i wasnt feeling that joyness that i wished to have.
it s very tiring esp to drive in KL area.
and I had no mood to be more excited.
I would say the convo is really out of expected.
even it s once in my lifetime.
but one thing i was so grateful was,
I have chance to meet many of my good friends.
and to have a chance to drink at starbucks while meantime talk about our HO life.
i wonder when will be the next chance.
Dear friends, gonna miss u all again

1st pay in my post-graduated life

After one month plus hardship, finally got the first salary.
It was Rm5913.16.
To many people, it s high paid.
Only those in our field will agree that we deserve more.
many a times, i felt sodisappointed with my own stupidness during work.
though i didnt make big mistakes, my boss will continue to say destructive comments.
I love my job very much,
but my life never stopsbeing abused.
luckily i m always positive minded.
i wish all ppl around me are positive also to face their life.

One month due...

After one month in Surgery, I found out many secrets.
This is probably happening in every hospital in the world.
HO is not only the lowest class dr, but also clerk, nurse, PPK, physiotherapist, Occupational therapist and etc...
Though everyday got chance to be scolded by Mr. 100, I still like my job.
I always wanna do the best but my wish was never coming true in the eye (He probably has one eye only) of specialist.
I started to understand the way UKM trained us in a PPD way is not to be another specialist or MO like these fellows.
As for me, contructive comments always can encourage me more rather than keep scolding.
I love my job and have passion for the patients.
But ppl always label you as something else which they never see what u did and just commented on u what ever they want.
I m grateful, for having a bad start in this department and I would continue to do my best to prove to them that i m eligible for my title.
Yesterday was my post call day and there were 2 guys came in with poor prognosis.
Even though they left in the end in the next morning, the family thank me for taking good care of them as well as to treat the family members nicely. At the same time, I saw Rev Lau, who was my youth advisor last time. He wished me and blessed me to be a good christitan Dr.
I m proud. Maybe I m not that knowledgeable and capable to do an operation yet. But I tried my best everyday to be the best that I could.
I still remember Mr Halim told me. No matter which posting u go, u must do your best even though u dont like the posting. And I m doing it. That s why I wont mind of what ppl said again. cos I know I m not doing it for the sake to avoid being scolded. It s for the patient's benefits.
Gambateh, Bernard!

D5 surgery life...

It had been so excited since induction thatI could finally started my life as a houseman. All the senior housemen were so willing to teach, and even it s the very first day while u dont know the rules here, they started ask u to do everything. Taking blood, sign consent, check blood, review patient, clerk new case, discharge summary and other admin work. I was wondering why I could tolerate all these while I could study other courses that don't need to spend so much of my time on working. And I heard most of the seniors were saying, starting to regret to be a doctor. In fact, most of us agreed that not the workload burdening us. It s the MOs who always scolded us unnecessarily and made us not so keen to work happily. I m so luckily, was trained in HUKM for being scolded till no feeling. haha... It s crazy. Day by day, the time passed. and on day 5 of working life, I start to think that I could manage cases already. Thanks to seniors...Tonight, UNIMAS student came. I started to miss those HOs in HUKM who ever helped us and signed for us. hehe... Hope that tomorrow life will be easier as Mr Ooi who graduated from UKM as well, will very "keen" to teach us... All the best

终于起飞了

等了两个多月，终于轮到我们开工了。一直以来很期待的心情，开始感到紧张。
想到就要进入人生另一个turning point, 感觉有点焦虑。
不懂这个新的环境会怎样，
人事会不会出现问题，
不管怎样，只要微笑，
相信一切都可以顺利渡过。
今年的生日愿望应该是成功渡过每一个posting 吧！嘻嘻！

新车还是二手车？

这两天，一个我必须尽快作的决定一直萦绕在脑海中。
自六天前知道自己会留在家乡工作，
就开始烦恼要怎么去上班。
原因是家里只有一辆车。
当然，要跟哥哥同时用车时不太可能的。
要怎么解决这个突如其来的困难呢？

朋友说：买车的原理有三：Self, Service and Second price。
首先，要考虑自己的喜爱和能力。
再来就是在当地有没有service centre还有spare parts。
还有就是卖出去的话，那辆车的价值有多少。
感谢朋友们的宝贵意见，
我才有一点头绪。

Option 1:
比较负担得起的新车属honda和toyota，最有再售的价值。
拿honda city 来说，
价值是大约RM90K.
如果loan RM80K用七年还完，利息大概是3%，
也就是要多还RM16800利息，
而一个月就要付RM1153。

Option 2:
考虑二手车，利息就比较高。
如果是kancil,
大概RM10K ++，
不用分息就可以马上还完，
当然它的风险，
就是要担心花更多钱去修理它。

以上只是打个比方，
还有很多的东西要考虑，
比如study loan, 给父母的家用，还要储蓄。
长大了，什么都要自己来，
生活真的好不容易啊！
虽然到现在还没有一个决定，
不管怎样，我还是学到很多关于买车的技巧。
谢谢帮忙过我的朋友们。

关怀中心~我又来了。。。

阔别一年，心里总是想，什么时候还可以再回来看看那些小朋友。

原本想在四月就回来，怎知一大堆的事情，加上交通问题，

把这个计划给耽搁了。

终于，在哥哥出门的日子，

我回到了这个爱的家庭。

老师们还是如此热情、耐心地教导这些智障和体障的朋友。

也许保守的东方社会，会认为这些孩子是累赘，

但他们却是这么努力的活着，

为要证明给父母和所有的人看，

他们不是累赘，

而是一个可以独立的群体。

看到他们工作的认真，

把事情做的井井有条，

很感慨自己也许还不如他们那般细腻。

今天还是第一次看到小朋友癫痫发作。

有点手足无措，

当时回忆拼命的跑回两个月前，

告诉自己要镇定，

希望没有给国大医学院丢脸。。。

回到early intervention class，

这一些自闭、过动，还有唐氏综合症等的小朋友，

都很活泼可爱，

真希望自己可以在这里多看一下。

没想到梦居然实现了，

中心邀请我来这里当助教一个星期，

还有专车接送，

真是开心。

也许这是为我开的另一条路，

让我看清楚除了精神科以外的需要，

也许就这样，

我会爱上小儿科！嘻嘻！

知足

有时候拥有你要的东西，并不一定让你感到快乐；
但是有时候失去了一切，那种释然才真正令人满足。

执政党还是反对党？！！

这几天，报纸翻开的都是政治。

所谓的政治， 就是为达目的，不择手段？！

也许对某些人来说，其中一方赢了，对他们会有好处；

还有些人也许人云亦云，

不管他能不能，总之造反一下，不吐不快。

当然民众的眼睛是雪亮的，

还是有很多的知识分子，

知道有所为，有所不为。

而我，不站在任何立场，

只是觉得这里真的需要改变，

真正的改变，

无论政经文教，还是医疗，

都可以越变越好。

水所以载舟，亦所以覆舟。

亲爱的鼎鼎大名的政治人物，

请别忘了你们的承诺，

别空口说白话！

除草记

平时的我没什么帮忙做家务，
这一次，老妈开口叫帮忙，当然得做啦！
这些年来都没什么留在家里，
难得现在在家，还是得尽上家庭成员的责任，
更何况这样可以流一下汗，顺便活动一下。

因为最近玩了太多，晒得太黑了，
就选择在早晨拔草，
没什么阳光，也不会太热。


从来没这么认真拔草，
因为有些花在草丛中，
所以要仔细地拔，
以免伤及无辜。
在这样的情况下，
真的很考我的耐力。
平时很急性子的我，
居然会慢慢的一根一根拔草。
我想，是时候让自己学习慢的艺术！！！

有些草特难拔，
要一搓一搓地拔，
实在不容易。
可能根深蒂固，
还要使用刀来挖起草根。
我想这就是草的生命力，
不管环境多恶劣，
它都会坚持。
但愿我也有这样的生命力，
努力不懈，坚持到底

忙碌的假期

5月一开始，就忙着和朋友们绕了砂劳越大半圈，
旅程虽然令人疲乏，但真的好珍惜这样的机会，
毕竟这有可能是跟着一班人最后一次一起出来玩。

难得在家里可以休息一下，
享受一下少爷的生活，
发现自己开始臃肿，
毅然决定去跑跑步，
于是，凌晨时间就得起床，
五点半在城市广场跟一群老人家跑，
不过最近老是凌晨下雨，
还我跑不成了。

难得在礼拜堂被撞见，
知道我还留在诗巫，
只要有人有什么事不能出现，
就会想到我，
我又有机会帮忙，
真的很感谢神给我这么多恩赐能够服侍他和别人。
14/5第一次参与国名服务营的团契聚会，
看到这么多年轻人，感觉自己老了，
不过我看起来还是跟他们一样年轻。哈哈！

还有帮忙表妹在网上找了份工作，
没声没息地，她去面试了，
还得到不错的职位和优渥的薪水，
真替她开心。
至少有这样的经验，
以后要找更好的工作就更得心应手了。

当然还有很多事要做，
不过，今天突然看到有人告知就要induksi了，
也就是说假期将要结束，
到时要忙这些有的没的都没什么机会了，
所以还是要趁机好好把握现在，
想做什么就要赶紧做。

海龟。热浪之旅

终于开始咯！

带着很期待的心情，
到了这一座没有人烟的岛，
连一整个礼拜的食物也一起带来了。。。
安顿之后，就听负责人Nurul解说每一个活动的细节。

这里的工作大致上没有很难，
不过需要极大的耐性。

早天呢？ 吃了自备的早餐
就去清理沙滩，巡逻每一个海龟的窝，
还有去追四脚蛇(monitor lizard)。。。
其他闲暇时间就是去浮潜，
看看美丽的珊瑚和鱼（还被鱼追，我的妈呀！），
晒晒太阳 (为了古铜色肌肤)，
喝喝海水（不小心喝到的，好咸==!），
一个美丽的早上就这么轻松的度过了。
下午，还是free and easy,
偶尔要自己煮午餐，
而且每个人都帮忙，
这种群体生活真的很开心，
没有斗争，没有怕输，没有拒绝帮忙，
煮饭菜的，洗碗的，泡水的，
每个人都很自动自发的去做。
其实我也是第一次发现自己蛮会煮的，
大概是受了爸妈的熏陶，
即使平常都不下厨，
也能想到不同花样，
煮得一手好菜（好臭屁哦！）
之后小休一会儿，
我们就会找节目做。
而我最喜欢的就是去prawn spa。
只要走大约十五分钟就能享受spa.
尤其是热情的阳光被树荫挡住，
也就没有那么感觉得到酷热的天气。
还有特别令人怀念的turtle rock。
站在山崖上如此壮观的画面，
好像在拍武侠小说的故事情节，
真希望自己会轻功，
可以飞檐走壁。

傍晚时分，就是去为新龟巢做记号和检查旧龟巢的时间。
特别令人感到兴奋的是查看哪些龟巢有新的小海龟诞生。
很矛盾的是有时会看到他们的天敌~ 红蚂蚁和魔蟹（Ghost Crab），
很多的小海龟就这样死于非命，连阳光都没有看过。

晚餐后，我们都会很主动的在八点就去沙滩巡逻，看看是否有新海龟上岸。
很幸运的是我们每天都可以看到至少两只海龟上岸产卵。
整个过程大概两个小时，
等待的同时，我们就躺在沙滩上。
宽敞的天空，挂满了许多星星，
偶尔还可以看到流星。
同时，我们也会谈心事，
聊不同的话题，很舒服！
有时还会睡着，
甚至还海龟旁爬过，都不会发觉。

这几天活得很逍遥自在，

对这大自然更加喜欢，

对海龟有更深认识，

还有机会举行沙滩演唱会，

有机会去的朋友，机不可失，

要好好珍惜那里的生活。。。

Ps: 特别感谢Nurul, Ah Mann，Adie，Fifi的照顾，

指导，还有很多好笑的时刻。。。